Wednesday 11 June 2008

Self-Hyphenated

I've had the best of intentions to write a blog entry in the last week with updates on my homecoming and medical progress but I've been kept quiet by wanting to have something more to report than "went to bathroom by myself".... I'm selfishly vain like that.

I've been self-bathrooming as well as self-nose-blowing and self-hair-blow-drying. I have not completely self-dressed and I haven't even partially self-bathed yet and, well, let's just say that my friend, Monica, and I are really close now. In a sucky turn of events, Monica is having her own surgery tomorrow and will not be able to wash me anymore so either I'm going to have to find a new really good friend or learn how to bathe myself again. In a fun turn of events, Monica is having her own surgery tomorrow and we have big plans to "recover" with a bottle of mezcal over the weekend.

My stomach wounds, draining and overall recovery is going swimmingly. I feel less tension and less pain every day. The only problem with that is that I'm horrible at self-restraint and as soon as I start to feel better, I start doing things I shouldn't and end up regretting it and self-flagellating myself when I am kept up all night in exhaustive pain. But it's still been a remarkable and successful recovery. Yippee!

And then there's the leg. Must I really talk about the leg? And yes it is "the leg" and not "the hip" because the damage done during my operation affects everything from my pinky toe to my kneecap to my sparkly new, non-functioning hip. Every day I try to put weight on my leg and every day I pass out from the massive wave of pain the rushes through my entire leg. Oh wait, that's not true. One day, I vomited and then I passed out. Ahh, variety really is the spice of life. Delicious spicy puke. Yum.

So "the leg"? No progress. Just lots of pain. And super sore arm muscles.

I'm still not regretting my decision to have the surgery and am still in a state of self-denial about the whole "may never walk without a walker or cane again" prognosis. I am accepting that this may take a while (even though every day I wake up and fool myself into believing that "today's the day" I'll be able to take a few steps on my own)... I've gone online and researched kick ass canes. I've worn my sparkly flat sandals in public and I even put my high heels in the bottom cubbyholes of my shoe rack since I won't be needing them for a while. This is what is called "baby steps" in progress... and that "baby steps" reference is what is called "bad walking humor"... and my overuse of emphasizing quotation marks and italics in this blog posting is what is called "bad writing due to using wine to self-medicate."

posted on Mexico time @ 14.24 (menos o mas) |