Friday 27 June 2008

Introducing Jacques

In all the reading I've done about nerve pain in the last week, a common thread has been "people will not understand just how much pain you are in" and by gosh, it's true. I have known people with pinched nerves or nerve damage and I've thought "I'm sure it hurts but have you ever tried bone cancer hurt? It's a whole new kind of hurt. So suck it up, pansy." Well, at this present moment I have both bone cancer hurt and nerve pain hurt and the only sucking I'm doing is through the straw in my whiskey on the rocks.

Tests this week revealed that the nerve problems are not getting better but in fact, 5 weeks after my operation, are getting worse. This means that there really is no hope that whatever damage was done during that spectacularly-timed seizure during my surgery will not repair itself. Further operations might help but further operations require further funding which I just don't have. What? You thought I had this endless fountain of money? If you think that, you are drinking more Jack Daniels than I am and you should probably consider talking to a professional about that.

So the nerve problems are here to stay. We'll think of them as an unwelcome houseguest. Let's call him "Jacques" and give him a French accent. "Oui, oui, Isahrai. I am here to zzztay. Pass me le bread with le cheese and some wine."

Jacques may be here to stay but I can at least make him tidy up after himself and do his own dishes. In other words, there are some ways to control him and minimize his annoying habits (those habits being throbbing pain, pulsing twitches, extremely sensitive skin). We were waiting to see if there was any progress in recovery before beginning any pain management so that the drugs wouldn't cloud the monitoring process. And by "we were waiting" I mean my evil bastard doctors were holding out on me.

(Hello Dr. Quintero, how are you? I'm fine. I love all the drugs you give me and rules you bend for me. I know your English isn't that great so let me translate what "evil bastard doctors" means: "gosh, Dr. Quintero is the greatest ever." Understand? Great. See you soon! Love, Isahrai)

After tests revealed the intention of Jacques to move in long-term, I started a new regimen of anti-inflammatory steroids and gabapentin, an anti-convulsant. Yes, yes, it is quite ironic that the problem caused by convulsions will now be controlled by a medicine originally developed to stave off convulsions. Yes, yes, I'm getting sick of my life being one big fun ball of irony. The new medications cause a whole new slew of problems, especially with the possibility that I will need to be using them long term. We're talking big time, long term sucking it up. But why worry about that when there is whiskey to be sucked down? I hope Jacques knows how to hold his liquor.

posted on Mexico time @ 14.42 (menos o mas) |